Breaking the Freeze: Overcoming the Fear of Being Seen
Have you ever stopped yourself from showing up? Maybe you want to post a video, speak at an event, or send an email to your list. You have a plan, but when the moment comes, you freeze. You avoid hitting publish, endlessly rewrite captions, and never submit the application. Your heart races, your palms get sweaty, and suddenly, cleaning the entire house seems more important than sitting down to create. You tell yourself you’ll do it tomorrow, but tomorrow never comes.
I’ve been there. I used to think I was the world’s biggest procrastinator. I’d tell myself that I just needed to be perfect, or that I didn't want to deal with internet trolls. I spent money on coaches, marketing courses, and equipment, believing that these mindset hacks would be the magic key to showing up. But they weren't.
The truth is, you're not lazy or a failure. This isn’t about knowledge, equipment, or finding the perfect script. The freeze is about safety. It’s your nervous system deciding that being visible equals danger.
The Role of the Nervous System
So why does your body think visibility is dangerous? For most of us, this started years ago, usually in our childhood. Maybe you spoke up in school and someone laughed, or you tried something brave and were criticized or ignored. Your body remembers these moments and holds on to them.
My personal story that stands out is from a high school talent show. My friend and I were doing a hip-hop dance, and she messed up. People started throwing Skittles at us. It was a nightmare. I was mortified. To make things worse, my friend didn’t apologize or acknowledge her mistake. Instead, she let the story get twisted, making it seem like I was the one at fault. My dad also said, "This is exactly why I didn't want you to do this." From that point on, being seen felt incredibly risky.
Now, whenever I get ready to create something to share my experience or skills with others, my body remembers that talent show moment. It doesn't matter that I'm an adult with more knowledge and confidence; my nervous system just says, "We've been here before, and it wasn't safe."
That’s why procrastination, overthinking, and the sudden urge to clean your office take over. These aren't random behaviors; they're your body's way of protecting you.
How to Feel Safe Being Visible
The first step to breaking this cycle is to recognize that the freeze equals safety. This awareness can stop the shame spiral. You're not a bad business owner or a world-class procrastinator. You're just a person with a nervous system that is doing its job and needs to be re-educated. The real work is not about using another script or finding a new strategy, but about creating safety so your nervous system can let you take over.
This is where EFT tapping can help. Also known as Emotional Freedom Techniques, EFT combines elements of ancient Chinese acupressure with modern psychology. It involves gently tapping on specific meridian points on your body while focusing on a particular thought or emotion. Tapping sends calming signals to the amygdala, the brain's stress center, which helps calm your nervous system and release the emotional charge from past experiences. It’s a tool that helps your body learn that being visible can actually be safe.
EFT can help you:
Calm your nervous system: When you're in a state of stress or anxiety, your body releases cortisol. Tapping can help bring those hormone levels back to neutral, allowing you to approach a situation with a more balanced perspective.
Release limiting beliefs: EFT helps identify and release deep-rooted beliefs that are holding you back, like "I'm not good enough" or "I'll never succeed."
Process past trauma: It provides a gentle way to process past events, reducing their emotional charge and freeing you to move forward.
The process is simple: you rate the intensity of your feeling on a scale of 0-10, tap on specific points on your face and body while stating the problem, and then reassess. It's about acknowledging the fear and then gently releasing it, one layer at a time. It’s not about forcing yourself to feel better, but rather giving your body the message that it’s okay to let go.
Action Steps for Moving Forward
Ready to take control and stop the freeze? Here are some actionable steps you can take today:
Acknowledge and Validate.
The next time you feel the freeze, stop and say to yourself, "This isn't about laziness. My body feels unsafe right now, and that's okay."
Focus on the "Why."
Instead of just pushing through, ask yourself what past experience or memory might be causing this freeze response.
Try Tapping!
Practice a simple EFT tapping routine to help regulate your nervous system. You can tap on points like the side of your hand, eyebrows, and under your eyes, while repeating phrases that acknowledge your fear and state your desire to feel safe.
If this resonated with you, try this Free Tapping Booster Session to get your nervous system to let go of the freeze and embrace a feeling of safety, empowerment, and confidence.
This is a journey of creating safety, not just forcing yourself to be productive. When you start to see your struggles as a sign that your nervous system needs support, you can stop the shame and start the real work of healing.
I’m Kim Keane, certified coach and energy healer, and I’d love to help you transform your life, your relationships and ultimately build a path toward a loving, peaceful life. DM me or email me at kim@kimkeane.com if you want to get personalized support, download my Free Everyday Spirituality Handbook or get my EFT Tapping Booster Session to continue making progress on your healing journey. You’re doing great and it’s never too late!