Have you ever been told to "just take action" to get unstuck? It sounds so simple, right? A therapist might throw around scientific terms, and it seems like the logical solution to a very real problem. But for many, this advice does more harm than good. It ignores the real reasons behind the freeze response and can trap you in a cycle of shame and short-term fixes.

Have you ever heard the advice, “just show up”? It’s everywhere. Go live on Instagram, share your story, send those DMs. But for many, the thought of it brings a racing heart, sweaty palms, and a knot in your stomach. The desire is there—you want to make an impact and fulfill your purpose—but you can’t. You freeze. And I’m here to tell you that it’s not a procrastination problem, and it has nothing to do with a lack of strategy.

Have you ever stopped yourself from showing up? Maybe you want to post a video, speak at an event, or send an email to your list. You have a plan, but when the moment comes, you freeze. You avoid hitting publish, endlessly rewrite captions, and never submit the application. Your heart races, your palms get sweaty, and suddenly, cleaning the entire house seems more important than sitting down to create. You tell yourself you’ll do it tomorrow, but tomorrow never comes (…) This isn’t about knowledge, equipment, or finding the perfect script. The freeze is about safety. It’s your nervous system deciding that being visible equals danger…

I used to think I was having an identity crisis. After leaving my Mindset hacks are everywhere—quick-fix strategies designed to instantly shift your thoughts. We're told to "just think a better thought" and everything will change. I used to believe this, too. I’d try one hack after another, only to find myself right back where I started. The truth is, until you get to the root cause of your negative beliefs, no hack will ever give you the lasting change you crave.

The Problem with Mindset Hacks

A mindset hack is a temporary solution for a deeply rooted problem. Think of it like a band-aid on a gaping wound. It might look good on the surface for a moment, but it won't heal the underlying issue.

Here’s why these hacks fail…

I used to think I was having an identity crisis. After leaving my teaching career, I struggled to find a new sense of self, especially as a stay-at-home mom. So, I went to therapy, hoping for a simple, three-step solution. What I found was something much more complex and, at times, more damaging: a new set of labels that became my entire identity.

My therapist began giving me labels like codependent, anxious, avoidant, and enmeshed. At first, it felt like an explanation for all my struggles. But these labels quickly became a trap, a heavy weight shackled to my ankle that I dragged with me everywhere.

If you think you're ready to start your healing journey, or you're not quite sure and looking for a sign, here’s your sign. This is the second sign that you want to feel more connected with who you are on a deep level—mind, body, and spirit—because honestly, you're tired of feeling like a stranger to yourself, right?

If you haven’t read about the first sign, you can do it here and then come back! 

Growing up, there were many things you wanted to do but were told you couldn’t, for whatever reasons. Maybe it was because there wasn't enough money, your caregiver didn't see the value in them, or you simply had no way to get there. When you grow up being told "no" to the things you want to do, or that your feelings and emotions are wrong, for example, you start to lose trust in yourself. You stop listening to your inner guidance and the voice in your heart. You stop trusting your thoughts, thinking maybe you're crazy or completely out of touch. This often leads to feeling like an empty shell of a person

If you relate, I’m sure you want to know yourself. You want to be able to trust yourself, to have that strong connection that many talk about but you can’t seem to find. You want to listen to your body, trust your gut, and listen to your instincts without feeling like a completely crazy person. Often, these issues stem from being told "no" repeatedly growing up. Even after leaving those caregiving situations, you may still struggle to make decisions for yourself–and you’re not the only one!